You're Not Invited to my Party and That's OK!

I am not sure when our society turned into such a coddled environment for children. The children of today seem to have to be protected from every possible 'bad' feeling. Soccer teams can no longer keep score for fear of upsetting a losing team, Some schools have banned 'best friends' because it can make other children feel less special, and parents of today are pressured to invite every child in the class or no child at all to their children's birthday parties.

While I can't do much about the first two items I want to provide some relief to the whole party inviting thing. It's ok to not invite every child to a party. It's ok to invite 5 of your child's closest friends at that's it.

I find the all or nothing concept very unfair because many families simply cannot afford to throw a party for 25 children leaving their child party-less which is still exclusion in my books. Why should only the 'rich' kids get to have parties?

As a parent I don't want my child invited to every party because I don't want to buy gifts for children my kid doesn't even play with on a daily basis. It's ok with me if they sometimes are left out.

I am not for the mentality that all children need to be friends with all children. As adults we don't invite the whole work place to our parties. We invite our friends and that's ok.

What is not ok about selective inviting is being mean about it. It's important that we as parents instill this value into our children. Here are some tips on how to teach your child to be a nice non-party-host:


1. Set the limit to the number of children your child can invite. Review the list together and make sure no one was accidentally left out.

2. Don't invite all the kids in the class except for a couple of kids. The child that picks their nose and the one who is allergic to everything shouldn't be the only exceptions. This starts to be mean and more of a 'bully-like' issue.

3. Tell your child you don't want to hear of any birthday taunting. Meaning she is not to rub it in other children's faces that they are not coming.


What do you think about all the hoopla of inviting the whole class or no one at all? Do you invite everyone? Do you send your child to everyone's party?